Parodies By Kurokasumi2
by speed killz
Summary: Contains parodies of my serious stories by Kurokasumi-2. Let us know if theres something serious of mine that you want made fun of. 1st Chapter: Parody of my Konoka's Chocolate one shot.


Konoka's Chocolate.

A/N: Pure, naughty Konoka and Setsuna yummyness, parodied to its finest. involving chocolate… for some reason.

Konoka sighed again in subtle pleasure, as she ate another piece of her Caramilk bar. It was so good, chocolate filled with caramel, it was easily her favorite snack to eat. She looked around, and noticed again how empty the room looked with nobody here. Asuna was out shopping, and Negi was out getting raped by Eva-chan, so there was no one left for her to talk to. She smiled, and took another piece of her bar, slipping it into her mouth. She hummed happily as the chocolate melted on her tonguethen she started to cough and hack as the caramel got caught in her throat and she hacked until it came out.

She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket, and flipped it open, accessing her phone book. First on her list was Asuna, for they were ranked in alphabetical order, but next on her list was Se-chan. She clicked the 'phone' icon on her phone, and it started dailing her number. Konoka glanced at the clock beside the bed, and realized that it was almost two at night. She hoped she wasn't waking Setsuna up. She was about to hang up, thinking she was, when Setsuna answered.

"THE FUCK ARE YOU PHONING AT 2am for you moron!!?" She yelled. Konoka smiled at her by-pullar greeting.

"I LOVE YOU SE-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANN! She yelled brainlessly.

On the other end of the phone, Setsuna had a very blank look on her face.

"You woke me up at 2 AM to tell me that you love me…?" Setsuna asked very annoyed

"Not only that! Can you come over to my dorm?" Konoka replied.

"Wha-what do you mean, Ojou-Sama?" She asked. "Calling me to your room so late at night, and so suddenly, that...!"

Konoka laughed. "Silly Sakurazaki." She said softly. "I just want your company, is all." She said.

Setsuna's eyes widened. "Is there something wrong with you?" She asked. Konoka shook her head, the movement unseen by the young demon slayer.

"No no, just, I'd like to spend some time with you." She said. "We hardly ever get to see each other as much as I'd like." She said.

Setsuna's blush started to fade. "If it will shut you up fine." She said. "I'll be there in a few minutes."

Setsuna closed her phone, and fell back onto her bed, sighing loudly. She really needed to get control of that dumb Konoka and her rapidly changing sexual prefrence.

Setsuna hauled herself up, and glanced in the mirror. She took a second to straighten her hair, and pull her hair tight through the ring that secured it on the left side of her head, then headed for the door. On the way out, she grabbed Yuunagi, who was leaning against the wall, next to the door. She slipped on her shoes, and exited, making sure to lock her door behind her. She walked silently toward Konoka's dorm, wondering why she was getting nervous about going over there just because it was late at night.

Konoka dropped her cell phone onto her bed, and got up, forgetting she was on the top bunk for some reason flipped over the guard railing and hit the floor. Ignoring her possible concussion she started heading for the kitchen. She was actually starving; the rest of the chocolate bar lay forgotten on her bed as she searched for something more filling. She went through her cupboards, then settled on a ham and cheese sandwich, something that was both filling and quick to eat, for she didn't want to be eating in front of Se-Chan, something she considered impolite. She quickly chomped down the rest of her sandwich, then cleaned up the mess she had made, while she waited.

She didn't have to wait long, as someone knocked on the door. She walked over to the door, and checked herself one more time in the mirror by the door. Her hair was straight, her white shirt was clean, and she had just changed into her tight blue jeans after school, so she knew they were clean also. Konoka opened the door, and Negi waved to her.

"Hi Konoka! Im back!" Negi said waving at her and all flimsy because half his blood had been drank and he had been blown up by about 500 dark magic arrows.

"THE FUCK? IM WAITING FOR SETSUNA-CHAN! GTFO NOOB!" Konoka roared, and with that booted Negi as hard as she could out the doorway and watched him fly backwards and flip over the hallway guard railing and fall 8 floors.

She sighed when his childish screaming was silenced by a loud 'THUD.'

"Well, you just killed Negi. That was quite a show." Setsuna said unenthusiastically leaning against the door beside Konoka.

"Hey Kono-chan." She said, walking in. Konoka smiled at the old nickname, and was pleased that she was starting to use it more often. "You weren't sleeping when I called you, were you?" Konoka asked. Setsuna gave her an irritated look.

"IT WAS 2AM NO SHIT I WAS ASLEEP!" She yelled.

"Sorryyyyyyyyy…………." Konoka said so unintelligently that Setsuna couldn't get any more pissed.

Setsuna forced a laugh, as she took off her shoes. "It's fine." She said. Konoka took her hand, and lead her into the room, near the bed. Setsuna stopped as Konoka turned to her, smiling at her.

"Thanks for coming over Setsuna." She said, hugging her. Setsuna was taken by surprise as Konoka wrapped her arms around her waist, but Setsuna quickly had her Kendo instincts kick in as she was also still a bit sleepy and counter-attacked Konokas hug, grabbed her arm, through her over her shoulder and whipped her across the room, smashing through vase and hitting the wall so hard it cracked and she landed softy on bed.

"………………oops." Setsuna said supprised at herself.

Konoka laid on the bed only half conscious

She got a hold of herself, pulled the glass fragments from her back and motioned Se-chan to come over to the bed.

"Come over here, I want you to taste something." Konoka said. She pulled Setsuna over a few steps, then sat on the bed. She picked up her chocolate bar, and unwrapped it, revealing the other half of the bar.

"Here Se-Chan, try some." Konoka said, breaking off a piece and handing it to Setsuna. Setsuna nodded, and ate it, enjoying it. It had been a while since she had eaten anything chocolatey, she usually tried to stay away from things like that. Konoka broke off another piece, and handed it to her, but Setsuna refused as politely as she could, fearing that if she tasted it again, she would have to steal the rest of it from her.

Konoka pouted. "Aww, that's no fun." She said. "Here, take it quickly Se-Chan, it's melting!" She said. Setsuna shook her head, and opened her mouth to reply, and that's when Konoka struck, trying to pop it into her mouth as she tried to refuse. She missed though, and palm-fisted Se-chan in the face.

"OW! WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Setsuna yelled holding her nose, as Konoka shrugged, and ate the rapidly melting chocolate square. As Setsuna tried to rub off the chocolate, Konoka grabbed her hand, halting her.

"Don't do that Setsuna, you'll smear it everywhere." She said, leaning in close. Setsuna's eyes widened as Konoka gently reached up, sliding her hand along Setsuna's left cheek, the one without the chocolatey smudge. Konoka leaned in, and licked the chocolate off Setsuna's right cheek, surprising the young half-demon, and making her blush furiously. "Mmm, tastes even better now." Konoka whispered in Setsuna's ear, still keeping her hand on the side of Setsuna's face. "Makes me wonder what it would taste like if it was licked off of other places..."

'WHAT THE…? TASTE THIS YOU RETARD!" Setsuna yelled and punched Konoka in the face, similar to how Asuna would always do to Negi.

Recovering from the attack obviously didn't learn anything.

"Wanna have a chocolate kiss, Se-Chan?" Konoka asked, pulling back a bit so Setsuna could look her in the eye. Setsuna said nothing, but her face gave away all her annoyed emotions, and for once, Setsuna found herself in a situation that was woefully out of her control.

Konoka grinned. "Well, I don't hear you objecting..."

"WAIT WHAT?" Setsuna yelled her face turning all red.

Setsuna was unprepared for Konoka to lean in and gently kiss her. Setsuna's hands came up, and grabbed Konoka's shoulders, but her resistance was futile; she was being raped against her own will by her childhood friend every second of this. Setsuna could taste the chocolate on Konoka's lips, and as Konoka deepened the kiss, Setsuna could taste the caramel on her tongue, as it slipped inside her mouth. Konoka reached up, her chocolate covered fingers gently touching Setsuna's jaw, before sliding down her throat, and slipping over her collar bone, leaving streaks of chocolate all down her neck and upper chest. Konoka hummed softly as she found she rather liked the feel of Setsuna's soft lips against hers. Konoka kissed her harder, her hand slipping down until it was mere inches above Setsuna's breasts. Konoka slowly broke the kiss, giving Setsuna time to recover. Setsuna was now hyperventilating at what was happening to her and was frantically trying to reach for Yuunagi. Konoka lifted her shirt up and off her, throwing it onto the floor. Konoka wore no bra, so her breasts were bared to Setsuna, who immediately started trying to break free and get her sword was hoplessly screw, gently touching her nipples with her thumbs, massaging and squeezing her breasts. Setsuna arched her back again in mild pain, as well as drawing her legs up, and spreading them open. Setsuna slid her hands all over Konoka's slender body, trying to find a way to break free from this lesbian rape. Before heading for the waist band of her pants, Setsuna managed to get off Konoka, as she worked to undo the button of her jeans. Setsuna moved and tried to get up, but then Konoka pulled her panties down an inch, giggling as she tore off her jeans. Setsuna grabbed Konoka's neck and threw her off the bed onto the floor, and got up, put her pants back on and tried to make a run for the door but Konoka grabbed her ankle.

Finally, Setsuna just gave up.

"Ohh...Setsunaaa..." Konoka said softly, sliding her hands over her breasts.

Setsuna started to slowly pull Yuunagi closer to her now that she was off the bed and could reach it.

Setsuna finally did get it close enough, Konoka to stupid to notice being to bust raping Setsuna she started to unsheathe it.

Setsuna took it out and as she raised it up…

"Is this good, Setsuna?" Konoka yelled, looking up seeing Setsuna holding her sword in a ready to stab postion.

"Hnn, yeaahhh. A sex toy! Don't stop!"

Setsuna thought well that might be a bit harsh. So instead she put her sword away and instead grabbed a lamp and smashed it on Konoka's head.

"Ohh God...Setsuna...why…?"

Konoka slowly fell unconscious with the carpet starting to stain red.

Finally, Setsuna's efforts were rewarded, as she gunned out of the room.

"That was a scarring experience," Setsuna said, catching her breath.

A little later Asuna came home. She opened the door to see Konoka laying in a blood stained carpet. She was still alive just had a lot of cuts on her head from the lamp.

"Eeeeh… Se…-chaann………?" Konoka said dazed.

"No this is Asuna, what happened, and wheres Negi?"

"Negi? He fell off the guard railing…" 

"HWUT!?" Asuna yelled dropping Konoka's head back into the red blood carpet.

She peered over the railing to see Negi's mangled corpse in the lobby, very deformed from falling 8 stories.

"Well shit the little brats dead." Asuna said.

Back in the room Kamo and Chachazero were sitting on a shelf drinking Sake and had just witnessed the whole thing.

"Quite a show I must say…" Kamo stated.

"THAT WAS AWSOME! One of them died!" Chachazero added.

END.

A/N:  
Yes this is Kurokasumi-2, not speedkillz. Were homies in R/L and time to time he lets me take one of his serious stories and let me completely ruin it. Such as his pennies story. If you thought this or Pennies: Alternate ending was funny you should check out my page and read some of my stories as they contain a lot of randomness and good laughs at anime (pretty much only Inuyasha) characters dieing in very funny ways. I do have a semi serious trilogy going, 'Inuyasha vs Counterstrike.'

Well, hope you enjoyed this.


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